I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
