Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
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Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
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Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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