the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
