Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I party with great urgency now.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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