I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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