She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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