I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Is it because I queefed?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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