how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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