Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
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