plz talk dirty to me
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
