haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
