I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
