I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
