Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Such a big mess for such a small penis
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
