the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
