You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
