also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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