2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
