We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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