Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just made out with a guy for $7.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
