Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
