We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize