And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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