does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
