I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
