Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
