do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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