is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
