Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
