Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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