if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
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