so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Two words: blizzard sex
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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