Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.