Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck