Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Randomize
Follow @tfln