It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize