No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
