I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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