Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
