yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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