everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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