There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Shame - the story of my life.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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