I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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