Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
