I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize