Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize