If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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