it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
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The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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