well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
