I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
