I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize