And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
