I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
The feeling are messing with the penis
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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