I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
3 2 1 whiskey
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
