That's when you crack a 10am beer
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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