only if we run a train.
done.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize