I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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