Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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