like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
