We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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