i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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