awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
