I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
