Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I forgot wine drunk hurts
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
