Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
