I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Are we still banned from the library?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize