I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
