i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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