Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
